Stop talking so you (I) can listen

I think many, if not all, of us have a propensity to need to explain ourselves. I know I do.

I have a quest to be heard. To be understood. To be gotten. And this can cause me to talk and talk and talk. To make sure you grasp my situation and my feelings. That you see my point of view.

I’m learning to stop talking so much, so that I can listen. I want to listen to you, to hear your story, to know your truth. I want to listen to others, to be open to their paths and their knowledge.

I’m learning to sit and hear my surroundings. To witness the birdsongs and the breeze blowing. To pay attention. To be more aware.

I’m walking up the street in quiet and allowing myself to be part of my surroundings. I’m not on my phone. I don’t have ear buds in my ears. I hear my footsteps, the laughter of children in the preschool playground, neighbors saying “hello” as I pass by.

I’m quieting the ceaseless chatter in my mind. Well, I’m trying to quiet the ceaseless chatter in my mind. I’m sitting in quiet meditation more often, listening […]

I am feeling vulnerable. That is okay.

I reread Brené Brown’s The Gifts of Imperfection. Once again, I can’t recommend it highly enough.

What jumped out at me this time? Brené offers this self-soothing for the times when we are afraid. “I am feeling vulnerable. That is okay. I am thankful for….”

I’ve been using that, over and over, in my times of fear. (Often irrational fear.) I know that I can be overcome with fear. I know that many of my fears are completely irrational. And I know that it makes complete sense that I have some – if not all – of my fears.

But I don’t have to live my life ruled – or restrained – by my fears. I told a client the other day that I’ve learned to admit to others, and to ask for help, when I’m overcome with irrational fears. When my kids are twenty minutes late, I know it’s irrational to be afraid that something awful has happened, and I know it’s where I’ll go left to my own devices. So I nearly always turn to my husband and say, “I’m afraid, and I know it’s irrational, but I’m afraid.” That always eases my fear.

As does […]

I am ready to be ready

I (often) believe – or know – that everything is always working out for me. I (often) remember that, and remembering that always brings me ease.

I (often) believe – or know – that I don’t have to push hard to make everything happen. I don’t have to try harder, or more, or better. I (often) remember that, and remembering that always brings me release.

I (often) believe – or know – that my job right now is to do what’s right in front of me and to also enjoy what’s right in front of me. To breathe. To bask. To notice. To enjoy. I (often) remember that, and remembering that always brings me peace.

There are many things I want to have happen. I can’t force them. I don’t have to. I’ve learned that I’ve most likely done (and am doing) all I can and need to do, and now it’s just a matter of making myself ready for it to happen…by being – fully being, happily being – in my now.

I can listen to the kids playing in the neighbor’s pool. I can watch the flowers moving in the breeze. I can pay attention to the sunshine […]