Monthly Archives: April 2017

Soak it up

I’m soaking it up, and soaking it up more.

I’m studying for a certification in Positive Psychology. I believe in, and practice, many of the tenets, but I want to be more consistent in my practice and more grounded in my teaching, so I’m down for seven months of learning for a certification.

This month’s homework? Strengthen my Intentional Activities to Increase Life Satisfaction tools, to boost my mood and my happiness. The tool I picked? Savoring.

Savoring means noticing – really noticing – the everyday pleasures and joys, and soaking them up. It reminds me to notice the sunshine and the blue sky, and savor. To see the flowers blooming, feel the breeze on my skin, enjoy the rush of joy that overtakes me when I’m sitting with my husband or one of my kids, and laugh with my whole being while I’m talking with friends.

I’m basking and soaking and enjoying. I’m calling out how many sweet moments and beautiful views I encounter every day. I’m allowing myself to be delighted, and to be delighted some more.

I’ve found that there is so much beauty and joy in my life, if I just choose to notice it. If I just choose to pay attention and let it all soak in.

I’m paying attention. I’m noticing. I’m soaking it up.

\I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share this post with others if it resonates with you!

Categories: Hope and Amazement, , Tags:

Soon the fear will go away

I don’t admit to anyone how often I’m wracked with fear.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m fine. I’m happy. I’m safe. And I’m doing really, really well. But I still get wracked with fear. Often.

I’ve learned to breathe through it. I’ve learned to call it out as false – False Evidence Appearing Real – as I learned in Al-Anon years ago. (I also learned F— Everything And Run, but that doesn’t ease me through this fear as much, so I don’t use it as much.)

I’ve learned that it will pass and to remind myself that I’m okay. Right here, right now, I am okay.

But it still wracks me.

I want to call it out because maybe other people also get wracked with fear for little or no reason, and I want them to know that they’re not alone and it’s not weird. It’s annoying maybe, but not weird. I want to call it out to continue to lessen its hold on me. “We’re only as sick as our secrets,” is something else I learned in Al-Anon. I do my best to have no more secrets, especially ones like this that feel shameful.

I do think the fear will continue to lessen and continue to dissipate. I do think the fear will go away. I hope it goes away soon. Really soon would be really nice.

I’m assuming that the more evidence I have that I have no reason to fear, and the more I learn to catch my fear quickly and breathe it to release, the more my fear will go away.

Soon the fear will go away. But for right now I’m okay anyway.

I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share this post with others if it resonates with you!

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You don’t have to react to fight or flight

When my fight or flight response kicks in, it kicks in hard. I tense. I snap. I retort. I forget to breathe and direct my thoughts to something that will ease me.

I know the response is there to protect me from danger, and I know that I’m very rarely ever in danger. But the response kicks in when I feel threatened or not heard. It kicks in when I feel unsure or uncomfortable.

The important thing to remember is that I don’t need to fight or flight in these moments. In fact, I can choose whether I fight or flight at all. I don’t have to react to the response. I can acknowledge it and do something else.

I read in a (great) book, My Stroke of Insight, that it takes roughly six seconds of breathing through the adrenaline rush of fight or flight before the hormones decrease and I can choose a non-reaction. For those six seconds I might be biologically compelled to run or go to war, but after those six seconds it’s just my mind that thinks I need to act on the response. My body is ready to let it go.

Which means it takes only six seconds of breathing, or distraction, to move through the response. In the moment, it may seem insurmountable and un-ignorable, but it only takes six seconds of my not reacting to allow me to not react. Even I can do that.

I don’t have to react to fight or flight. I don’t have to react to flight or fight. I can remember that – the next time – for just six seconds.

I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share this post with others if it resonates with you!

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