A good exercise in not beating myself up

Something is not going exactly as I want it to go. I hate that. ☺

I faced a personal challenge a few years back, and I mostly eased and allowed myself all the way through it. I learned a great deal. I grew a lot. I evolved and changed and became even more of myself and more of whom I want to be.

And then it came back. At least a little bit. I hate that as well. ☺

I know – at least most of the time – that I will ease and allow and get through this again. I remember – from my positive psychology certification – to remind myself that I have handled everything that has happened to me so far, and I therefore can and will handle (and am handling) this as well. I realize – when I’m thinking clearly – that I will, once again, learn and grow and evolve and change and become.

And mostly I recognize that one of my first reactions to the struggle and challenge is to somehow blame myself for being here again. And that not only will not help me, but also there’s no reason to blame myself.

That’s an old, non-helpful habit – beating myself up. It doesn’t help. It doesn’t make things better. It, perhaps, does make sense based on my past, but it’s something I’m happily outgrowing and leaving behind.

This is a(nother) good exercise in not beating myself up.

Many of us seem to have a first impulse to hit ourselves when we’re down. “How could I be so stupid!” we berate ourselves. “If only I hadn’t…. (or had…)” we scold. “I should have known better!” we criticize.

None of this helps. Not at all. Just as “you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar,” you help yourself learn and grow and evolve and change and become more with self-compassion than with self-lambasting. I help myself learn and grow and evolve and change and become more with self-compassion than with self-lambasting.

“This sucks,” I’ve learned to say to myself. “No wonder you’re scared,” I remind myself. “You’re doing great and I love you,” I say to myself over and over and over again.

Maybe some, or all, of you don’t need to say and hear these things, but I know that they certainly help and heal me.

This is a(nother) good exercise in not beating myself up.

I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share this post with others if it resonates with you!

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