Chill out already

Recovery, , ,

Chill out already. Take a break. Put you feet up. Sit back and smell the roses (or whatever flowers you have nearby).

I don’t think there could be wiser words.

I believe the world is rampant with too much over-doing. I believe we all could – or at least I could – stand to take a break. A big break. A much deserved break.

I had a busy weekend. Last night we hosted a fundraiser at my home. It was wonderful and delightful and amazing. And a lot of work. Today was a mixture of getting rid of empty bottles and vacuuming up leaves that got tracked inside the house. All good but all tiring.

It’s time to take a break and chill out already.

I’ve recently found a community of children born and raised in the Church. I was astounded (for some strange reason) to hear stories that seemed so much like mine. “I thought that was just my mom,” I responded. “I thought that was just my weird thought.”

I realized (again) how much it was ingrained in me that all that I did was never enough and all that I gave was never enough. I was taught […]

Make new friends but keep the old

My Story, ,

I sang this song when I was a Brownie, a bazillion years ago. I can still see myself sitting in a circle in a classroom in my elementary school. I must have been eight or nine years old.

I lost many – okay all – of my old friends when I left the Church. I had been a best friend with Rev. Moon’s daughter and with a few Korean children who were born into and raised in the Church. When I, as my brother says, simply disappeared from Church life, I disappeared from them as well.

One of the hardest parts of leaving the Church was losing what felt like everyone and everything that had been important to me. Everyone and everything that I had loved. I wondered where my old friends were. I wondered how my old friends were. I wondered if I’d ever see them again. And I wondered if I’d be flush with shame if I ever did see them – shame at leaving and sinning and walking away. Shame at abandoning the Messiah and letting God down. Shame and disgrace and self-loathing. Do you get the sense that leaving the Church filled me with at least […]

Progress not perfection

Recovery, , ,

It’s a mantra I learned in Al-Anon decades ago. A mantra that, truth be told, helped save my life.

It’s a mantra I turn to often, that I turned to again yesterday in my yoga class where, after decades of practice, I have to admit that there are some (okay, maybe many) poses that will never come easy to me. Where I look like I’ve perhaps just began practicing yoga, where I look like the poster of “before” in a before and after shot.

Ah well. It is what it is.

As a (recovering) perfectionist, remembering the concept of progress not perfection is always a good thing. I can touch my toes. Yay! I most likely will never touch my stomach to the floor in a wide-angle seated forward bend. Never.

Ah well. It is what it is.

Progress not perfection is my mantra for many, if not all, aspects of my life. I’ve learned, at times the hard way, to be happy for what I have, where I am, and what I’m doing. I’ve learned, to quote another Al-Anon mantra, that “I am enough. I have enough. I do enough.” All new learnings for me over the years.

I’m […]