The funny thing is I don’t remember where I was when I heard the song. I was certain I’d remember, but I guess life is often a blur.
It was during our vacation, and I was somewhere in Spain. Perhaps in a cathedral? My son says all we did was visit cathedrals. I can think of three or maybe four we visited in the four weeks.
I just remember hearing the song, “I’ll never leave you any more” playing in the background. In reality, it probably wasn’t that song. It probably was a song with a different title, and lyrics, that someone in the Church, many years ago, put new lyrics to. Like we used to sing, “the answer my friends, is in the hearts of men,” instead of “blowing in the wind.” Sorry Bob Dylan.
I’ll never leave you anymore. It’s a Church holy song, about how we’ll change the world and never let God down. I used to sing it to myself, pledging my heart and soul and life to God, as I walked down the street to school. I was in sixth grade, living with my brother and grandfather after my mother had left. I used to sing the song quietly to myself and cry, as I walked down the block each morning. Knowing that I had to work hard to not let God down. Knowing I could never work hard enough. The song was my Pledge. My devotion. My promise.
Then I let that God down. Or so it seemed at the time. I left the Church and abandoned the gift I had been given. Or so it seemed at the time.
And now I hear the song, or I hear some other song with the same music, and sing the words in my head:
I’ll never leave you anymore,
For I have found in your bright eyes,
A river of love, a heart of gold,
A peaceful mind, a hand to hold.
And what’ll I do with the precious gift?
Shall I embrace it to myself?
Oh, no I can’t, I would loose it sure;
It must be given if it’s to endure.
And how will I use this treasure store?
How will I share this wordless joy?
I’ll greet all men with a loving heart;
I’ll speak the truth with a clear voice.
And together we’ll build a world that’s new.
That’s fit for kings and fit for queens;
We’ll raise them up to rule the land,
And place dominion in your hand.
I’ll never leave you anymore,
For I have found in your bright eyes
A river of love, a heart of gold,
A peaceful mind, a hand to hold.
Hearing this song is the sort of thing that I used to worry would bring up guilt, or fear, or shame from leaving. I used to worry that I’d be overcome with sadness. Instead, as I sit somewhere in Spain, I hear the music, mouth the words, and feel a sense of calm overcome me. There still is a sense of goodness and oneness that I won’t leave. There still is an awe in me that sees, and hopes for, a “better” world. There still is a promise for a world of love and peace and joy and ease. A world that exists in each moment if I choose it.
Maybe it’s me that I’ll never leave. Wow. That’s a concept. Maybe it’s this sense of peace and love that are there for the asking. Maybe it’s my Pledge to be my best me and to love those around me with as pure and true a heart as I can. To love myself with as pure and true a heart as I can. Maybe this is still what matters to me. Could I have “left” even though I promised never to leave, and now, thirty-plus years later, realize that I never left that love and joy and connection?
I’ll never leave you anymore.
WOW! Just …. WOW…. beautiful….. What a real, true, deep healing…..
Wow. This is powerful. (Although I think my favorite line is honestly just “Sorry Bob Dylan”…made me laugh.)
It’s my favorite line too!
Hi, Lisa.
You might not remember me, but I was friends with your mom in NY and DE.
I love your comments, and am glad that you seem unscathed by any crappy guilt that might have gotten in the way of seeing yourself as a really beautiful person. Don’t worry!
I love your positive attitude that exudes from your book, and everything you do.
Take Good Care!
Jerry
(I happen to use this as my email signature):
Greet everyone with a loving heart.
Speak the truth with a clear voice.
Hi Jerry – thanks for your comments and thoughts. I do remember you and it’s great to hear from you after so long. And I love your signature! 🙂
BTW, I do remember you too, Lisa. (and “Robby” – you probably don’t call him that now.)
Seeing your pictures, you haven’t changed. 🙂
Take Care
He’s still Robbie to me!
Hi! Lisa.
I got out of the Unification Church in 1978. But the words of that song kept coming into my mind from time to time, (we use to sing it often in the church) but I had forgotten most of the verses, so I googled the first line and this site came up. Now I have the words I have put the chords to the song and can sing it again. It is a lovely song.
I found the true Messiah, The Lord Jesus Christ and have never looked back…I pray that you have also. Thanks for sharing the words to the song.
God Bless
Warren
Hi Warren!
Thank you for reaching out. I love hearing from Formers. I’m glad you found the words to the song – it still rings in my head sometimes – and I’m glad you have found peace for yourself.
This song seems to have the same melody as The water is wide, a famous Scottish folk song, sung among others by Bob Dylan, the Seekers and many others
Thanks for bringing that to my attention. It seems to be true! Tho I will always hear the church lyrics when I hear the tune, and I did just get a new tattoo to reclaim the song for myself! 🙂
Actually, Lisa Lays already explained the same thing to you, back in 2020. She wrote
Lisa Lay on 08/11/2020 at 5:04 pm
Based on a 17th century folk tune. The most common lyrics are entitled, The Water is Wide.” More recently recorded by James Taylor, Karla Bonoff and others.
and your Reply was,
Lisa Kohn
Lisa Kohn on 08/17/2020 at 2:09 pm
Thank you! I think you’ve told me this before, and I seem to always forget it