How can I miss you if you won’t go away?

The good news – the trimester system at my daughter’s college had her ‘home’ from Thanksgiving through the New Year. The bad news – she left Pennsylvania before all of her high school friends, and went back ‘home’ to Minnesota a few days ago.

Yes, there are two homes in that sentence. Because she did come home to us in November, and I know that she when she went back to her dorm and her new life, it was also going home for her. I’m lucky that both are home to her, at least for now. I hope that my home remains a home for her for as long as she wants it to be one. Maybe even longer. ☺

But this post isn’t about the number of homes we all can have – although, as she shows us, we can have many. This post is about is missing someone, and why that’s good.

“How can I miss you if you won’t go away?” I thought this was a crazy line that my husband’s friend made up years ago. He is always twisting words into funny sayings; I assumed this was just another example. Until I walked into my office one morning and found a wooden board with this saying on it on my desk. My husband had seen it online, and since we always say this to each other, he bought it for me. It might be a backhanded compliment, but it makes us smile.

But back to the missing. Because I couldn’t, or didn’t, miss my daughter until she went away (or ‘home,’ as the case may be). Well, actually, I started missing her a few days before she left, just to get a jump on it. Wouldn’t want to miss any opportunity to miss.

But what’s good about it? What’s good about missing someone? Missing someone can be a wonderful feeling because it means that I love that person. It means that I enjoy being with that person; I enjoy it enough that I miss them when they’re not around. Missing someone can force me to think of the sweet memories that I share with them, and excite me to make more memories – with them and with other people. Missing someone can remind me to make the most of them while they’re near by, and of others who are still near by. Missing my daughter can remind me to enjoy my son, who still lives with me, and my husband, who will hopefully always live with me!

“It is better to have loved and lost, then to have never loved at all,” is a saying that people quote. To me, missing someone is part of that statement. The joy of missing my daughter – the joy of missing her laughter, her company, and her conversation, of missing making her dinner, doing her laundry, and reminding her to straighten her room (okay, maybe not those things) – is a joy that I realize I am blessed to have. I’m blessed to miss her when she’s not here, and blessed to have her come home when she does.

If my intention this year is to enjoy my blessings and to look for the best in every person and situation, then I am going to enjoy – and even celebrate – missing. I’m going to enjoy the new normal of our three-person immediate family. I’m going to enjoy the text, Snapchat, FaceTime, and phone conversations I have with my daughter. I’m going to enjoy the love that exists – here, home, in Pennsylvania and there, home, in Minnesota.

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