I think I’ve already shared the mantra I learned many years ago – “I am enough. I have enough. I do enough.” I’m sure I’ve shared that I’m again, still, moment-by-moment trying to remember that mantra and live by that mantra. It’s an ongoing journey and a day-to-day lesson.
But I got called on my stuff the other day. Someone pointed out to me that while I’ve been studiously working hard to incorporate that mantra into my life, I’ve been doing it hyperactively and hyper-vigilantly. That I haven’t been allowing however much I achieve this lofty goal to be enough.
In fact, I haven’t been letting many things be enough, not just me and what I do. I tell my clients that when they hold themselves up to too-high standards, they most likely do the same for the people they work with. I’m realizing that when I hold myself up to these unachievable standards, I most likely hold my daily interactions up to those standards as well.
I go out of my way to appreciate people and moments, and I think that’s good. Great in fact. But if I expect people and moments to always be spectacular…well that’s a pretty high standard and it sets me up to be let down. It’s so much nicer when I simply accept what is and let it be enough, rather than needing it to be more.
When I first stumbled into my recovery I learned to describe the aching need I felt inside of me as a huge hole. And I used all the tools I learned in my recovery to begin to fill that hole, or to try and achieve a point where there was no hole. But when I was called out the other day I realized I was still trying to fill this hole, and that maybe, perhaps, the hole wasn’t fillable. Maybe it didn’t need to be filled. Or maybe there wasn’t even really a hole. Maybe, by focusing on my hole, I was causing the hole to stay. Maybe the best thing I could do for myself was to let myself be enough, with or without the hole, and to let all the things around me be enough, just as they are.
I’m trying this and liking this. It lightens my mood and brings a smile to my face. It reminds me to skip down the street, to look for the good, to enjoy what I have. Enough is enough. Everything around me and inside of me is enough. Everything inside of you is enough. We are all enough and it is all enough, even when we may want more. Even if I don’t find an agent and a publisher for my book, that is enough. Even if I end up self-publishing, that is enough. When I get comments and new subscribers for my blog, that is enough. And when I don’t, that is enough.
Enough is enough. What do you think?
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