I’m still trying to save the world…

Newsflash – the world doesn’t need saving. I know this. I really do know this. I believe it firmly. And yet…

And yet I guess old habits die hard because I’m still trying to save the world. I’m still driven to make a difference. Deep down I want to make a splash, a splash that makes life better for people. A lot of people.

The other day someone asked me why I was so compelled to get my book published. My answer was instantaneous and visceral, and almost as if out of nowhere. “I’m still trying to save the world.”

They say “awareness is the first step.” (And yes, that saying is from AA. I can hear my daughter yelling at me that I forgot to tell her that it was from AA.) Well, I’m aware. I’m aware that my drive, at times, comes from Sun Myung Moon standing in front of me, shouting in Korean that we had to change the world. We had to ease God’s suffering. I had to be the one that made it happen, that changed the course of mankind.

I think there are things in the world that could be better. I support causes I believe in, and people who support causes I believe in. I’m proud of my daughter as she becomes more of an activist and a feminist in her freshman year of college. I thank the environmental and political canvassers who knock on my door for the work they do, especially in cold or rainy weather. But there’s a difference between working for a cause you believe in, and believing you have to shake the foundations of the world to make it better. Believing that every moment has to be something big, something that accomplishes something that will make God proud.

I’m still trying to save the world. Maybe that is why I’m keeping at this book and this blog. Well, that and I love to write. And that my daughter (a lot about her today, huh?) has told me that she won’t read my book until it’s a real book. But really, I want to make a difference with my book. I want people to read it and feel hope. I want them to read it and know that it’s all okay in the long run. I want them to read it and realize that they too can be happy. And I love to write.

Maybe I’m so grateful for my happiness that I want to give it to everyone I can. I want to feed it forward. I want the domino effect – that my choice of joy causes your choice of joy, which then causes the choice of joy in others. And I suppose those are all good things to want. But I don’t have to want to save the world. Because it doesn’t need saving.

I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share this post with others if it resonates with you!

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