I’ve been coaching myself to more intentionally accept “what is” – what is going on in each moment; what is happening to, around, and inside of me; whatever I’m facing or enjoying or dealing with. Whatever is. And somewhere I read, or heard, the suggestion to allow “what is”, which sounded both great and inspiring, and also really stupid.
Because what other choice do I have than to allow what is? What is is what is, and it will be what is in this moment, no matter what. I really have no control over any of it. It exists – it is – whether or not I like it. And whether or not I allow it.
But I still like the concept. When I think, “Allow what is,” I feel a sense of peace and calm wash over me. I feel my heart lighten and my pulse slow and my mood lift and my smile expand. But it seems somewhat stupid to remind myself to allow what is, because it will be whether I allow it or not. Because not allowing what is is not only impossible, it’s also a false sense of control. It’s a misguided notion that I could prevent what is if I didn’t like it. I can’t. It is.
What is? My husband just left for a week-long trip to Europe. I don’t like it but it is. What is? My son and I will sit down to dinner and Dr. Who – most likely tonight and every night my husband is gone. I do like it and it is. What is? I had a great FaceTime with my daughter today. Again I like it and it is. What is? The water for the pasta is taking forever to boil. Is that why they say a watched pot never boils? And, okay, I was reading about mindfulness and reminding myself to be more mindful, and I mindfully forgot to put the water on to boil in time. It is what is.
I have no choice but to allow what is. That’s true. But when I actively remember to choose to allow what is, even though I really have no choice, I feel better. I feel myself lighten. I feel my resistance to what is, if I don’t like what is, lessen. I feel more at peace and more accepting. I am more in the moment; I am more mindful; I am more likely to enjoy what is and to enjoy what’s in front of me.
Even if it’s stupid – which it may not be – I’m going to allow what is.
I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share this post with others if it resonates with you!