I was stuck – stuck bad – and I was desperate for help. Things weren’t going the way I wanted them to and I was at a loss for what to do. So I made an appointment with an “expert,” someone who supposedly had insights I didn’t have, and solutions I couldn’t come up with on my own.
But I was scared. I don’t know why, but I was. I don’t think I even really knew I was scared until a friend pointed it out to me. That’s how out of touch and caught up I was in the shenanigans in my brain. In fact, as my friend called out my fear she also called out my extreme expectations. She pointed out that I was walking into the appointment not only terrified about what I would learn and what would happen, but also expecting absolute answers and complete and immediate liberation from my issue.
My friend called out my fear and expectations, and then she offered me another way. “Why not go into this with hope and curiosity?” she suggested. “Hopeful that it works, and curious as to what could happen?”
Hope and curiosity. I hadn’t thought of that. I hadn’t even had space in my mind to consider that. Hadn’t, at that moment, even been aware that hope and curiosity were an option. But as soon as she put those choices in front of me, I could feel myself calm down.
Hope and curiosity. These allowed me to move forward with ease, rather than tension and apprehension. Hope and curiosity. They allowed me possibilities where before I had felt backed into a corner, albeit backed into a corner by myself.
Could I approach more of life with hope and curiosity? Can I? What would it be like if I did? I can always fall back into my ramrod approach to everything. I can hunker down, batten the hatches, and barrel though. But hope and curiosity offer me another way. A way of peace and calm and even joy.
As a coach I’m supposed to channel curiosity for and about my clients, and I usually do. But it’s a whole different thing to channel curiosity about my own life. About my own choices. About my own ways out of wherever I’m stuck. Still, I did it that day.
I could say hope and curiosity offer me a way that’s effortless, but it actually takes effort for me to choose this new way. But I want to build these muscles and choose it even more. Because life viewed through the lens of hope and curiosity is more and more fun. And more and more peaceful. And with more and more practice I think it will be easier and easier to attain.
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