That’s what she said. She being my yoga teacher. “Just surrender.”
It’s funny how I focus on surrendering and focus on surrendering, and then I get caught up in something else and I forget. I guess it’s easy to forget.
I’ve surrendered some things and surprise of surprises, they’ve gotten better. They’ve had movement forward. Or maybe just I’ve gotten better with them. My business (my day job) was slow for a bit and I let that be okay. Now it’s picking up, and with some pretty ideal clients even. I’ve surrendered Way Out over and over again, and now my editor sees the current draft as superb and she’s excited for my next steps. And I have a few agents who are waiting to see the manuscript and are also excited.
But I want to remember that I’m not surrendering to make things happen…because then it’s not really surrendering, is it? I want to remember that I’m surrendering because I’m not in charge, there’s only so much I can control (and it’s still usually less than I think I can control), and life is more fun when I stop trying so hard anyway.
Years ago when I stumbled into Al-Anon I learned the serenity prayer: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.” It saved my life back then, and it can continuously save my life, or at least free my soul to enjoy my day, right now.
I choose to remember serenity. I choose to remember courage. I choose to remember wisdom. Sometimes, especially wisdom.
I choose to surrender. Just surrender.
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