Thatās what she said. She being my yoga teacher. āJust surrender.ā
Itās funny how I focus on surrendering and focus on surrendering, and then I get caught up in something else and I forget. I guess itās easy to forget.
Iāve surrendered some things and surprise of surprises, theyāve gotten better. Theyāve had movement forward. Or maybe just Iāve gotten better with them. My business (my day job) was slow for a bit and I let that be okay. Now itās picking up, and with some pretty ideal clients even. Iāve surrendered Way Out over and over again, and now my editor sees the current draft as superb and sheās excited for my next steps. And I have a few agents who are waiting to see the manuscript and are also excited.
But I want to remember that Iām not surrendering to make things happenā¦because then itās not really surrendering, is it? I want to remember that Iām surrendering because Iām not in charge, thereās only so much I can control (and itās still usually less than I think I can control), and life is more fun when I stop trying so hard anyway.
Years ago when I stumbled into Al-Anon I learned the serenity prayer: āGod, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.ā It saved my life back then, and it can continuously save my life, or at least free my soul to enjoy my day, right now.
I choose to remember serenity. I choose to remember courage. I choose to remember wisdom. Sometimes, especially wisdom.
I choose to surrender. Just surrender.
I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share this post with others if it resonates with you!
Have you heard of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)? It’s all about what you’re talking about, including the idea that “surrendering” (or acceptance) often does make things better (reduce distress, symptoms, etc.), but that’s not the goal (and it’s less likely to happen if it’s your goal). The goal is living a rich, meaningful life whatever your thoughts and feelings.
I like that goal. Living a rich, meaningful life whatever your thoughts and feelings. I think I have heard of the therapy and now know I like it (and, I guess, at least somewhat practice it.) š
All your posts remind me of ACT! I’m using it with some of my therapy clients right now. You should read The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris.
I’ll read it!
As always, another insightful blog. As I read this, I disagreed with the thought of surrender until you reminded me of the serenity prayer. I was taught to be a fighter, but the key is knowing some things won’t change and you need to know when to surrender. That’s how I deal with my mother suffering from Alzheimer’s. And when I surrender, I often see the silver lining of the situation. It’s a coping mechanism, but it works! Thanks, Lisa!
I too am a reformed (sometimes) fighter. The key is, I guess, knowing when to fight and when to surrender. And I’m finding that it’s more often surrender (or at least less often fight). I love the silver lining I see. Thanks Beth!