Monthly Archives: July 2015

Fearlessly and fiercely loving

I like to say that I’m someone who likes to love. I like to profess, or is it confess, to having a big heart. To being mushy and a softie. To saying “I love you” to friends who probably would never consider saying “I love you” to friends.

I like to love the people around me, and to actively love the people I love. Ask my immediate family – I’m a hugger, a snuggler, a hand-holder, and, as my son would probably say, a too-often kisser.

I like to love.

I heard the concept today of loving fearlessly. I liked that. I like the idea of making myself vulnerable, of smiling at strangers, of giving myself and of myself. I like the idea of opening up and fearlessly loving the people I love.

I also like the idea of loving fiercely. Of putting love for others first in my to-do list (well, maybe right after love for myself). Of challenging myself to “shower the people I love with love, and show them the way that I feel.” I think of a lioness fiercely loving and protecting her cubs. Or of me fiercely loving my kids.

Now, I’m fully aware that others may not want as much love, or at least as much outward love, as I do. But I’ve been told that “what the world needs now is love sweet love…” and I intend to give that.

I intend to love fiercely – with all my strength and heart, even, or especially, when I don’t want to. When I’d rather be cranky or mad. When I’m tired and frustrated.

I intend to give of myself, and to give gratitude, fearlessly and fiercely.

You can call me on it.

I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share this post with others if it resonates with you!

Categories: Passion, , Tags:

Why do I resist it if it helps?

Another morning of yoga and another morning of wisdom.

It’s funny, I had been thinking something along these lines as I walked to my 6am class. I had been facing a challenge, and had found something to ease my way. “A crutch!” my hypercritical voice yelled inside my head. “You’ve used a crutch! You need to be strong!”

How long have I recognized these voices as thoughts that are not in my best interest? How long have I called them out as lies? How long have I thanked them for their care and concern, and turned my mind to other places? And still they sneak up on me.

So I was walking up the street this morning, reminding myself that: first – I didn’t have to be strong. And second – even if I found something to ease my way, that didn’t mean I wasn’t strong. And besides, I didn’t have to be strong.

My yoga instructor echoed my sentiment. She was talking, of course, about the pose and using blocks as a prop and support. I, of course, applied it to my life as a whole.

Why do I resist props and support? What do I think I’m trying to prove? I don’t need to prove anything anymore. I can find ease and support and soothing. And peace and calm and tranquility. Or joy and fun and excitement. I can find and allow all of these, even if it takes a prop or support to get me there. It doesn’t lessen that I’ve gotten there. It doesn’t lessen anything at all. I can use yoga blocks.

I don’t need to resist.

Oh and by the way, yesterday I saw a yellow bird and a humming bird!

I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share this post with others if it resonates with you!

Categories: Hope and Amazement, , , Tags:

Surrender? Seriously? Here’s how…

I know I’ve written about surrendering before. I guess I’m a broken record. (Does anyone even know what “broken record” means anymore? Now that we don’t have records that get scratched and skip – and repeat the same thing over and over and over?)

Maybe I’m the opposite of a broken record, because the only reason I say surrender again and again and again is because I need to hear it again and again and again. I seem to need pretty constant reminders to remember to surrender.

What is it about holding on that appeals to me? It is old behavior. Somewhere along the line I learned that holding on meant keeping control. And that keeping control meant keeping things safe. And keeping my parents (and God) happy – or at least hopefully happy with me. Somewhere I learned that I had to fight the fights and win the battles and prove things.

Well, now I’ve learned to unlearn all that, but my go-to reflex can still be the opposite of surrender. So when my yoga instructor suggests we surrender into our pose, I remember I need to surrender into it all.

Surrender into the tough times that I’m facing, so that they become less tough. Surrender into the fear, or disappointment, or frustration, or self-blame I’m feeling, so that they relax and dissipate. Surrender into the beauty of the bird songs, or the sunshine, or the green leaves and gorgeous pink hydrangeas in my front garden, so that they soothe and inspire me.

Yes surrender. But how?

I surrender by:

  • Taking a breath, and then a deeper breath, and reminding myself that “everything’s okay today and everything’s alright tonight” – just as I used to repeat to myself when I was a kid.
  • Looking at the beauty surrounding me – wherever I see it – so that I can be pulled out of my own thoughts.
  • Grasping my hands into tight fists, and then releasing them – literally letting go to the universe.
  • Reminding myself that it’s okay to feel fear or disappointment or frustration or self-blame. And then reminding myself that it’s okay, but that I don’t have to.
  • Remembering “Let Go and Let God,” “I’m exactly where I need to be,” and “I didn’t cause it; I can’t control it; I can’t cure it” as I learned in Al-Anon so many years ago.
  • Or if it’s something I can control or cure – something inside me – figuring out how to do that.
  • Finding a reason to laugh, or at least to smile.
  • Finding someone (or something) to hug.
  • Watching a funny movie, losing myself in a good book, having a cup of tea.
  • Taking a breath, and then a deeper breath.

What do you do to surrender?

I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share this post with others if it resonates with you!

Categories: Recovery, , , , Tags: