Choose to be here

I was meditating the other day. It’s been a while since I’ve sat intentionally to meditate, and although I try and stay mindful moment to moment (okay, I catch myself and return to being, or trying to be, mindful moment to moment), I thought that intentional, actual meditation might be a nice idea.

I was listening to a guided meditation by Tara Brach. I love listening to Tara Brach. She offered that, in that exact moment, we could choose to be right where we were. Or something like that. I’m not actually sure exactly she said, and I am actually proud of myself for not remembering exactly what she said. It means I was more in the moment and actually choosing to clear my mind and meditate, than working to remember what she was saying. A step in the right direction for me.

Either way, however she said it, her suggestion resonated with me. I can choose to be present, in this moment. Or I can not. I can choose to pay attention to where I am, what I’m experiencing, how I’m feeling, what I’m sensing, what’s going on around and inside of me.

Or I can not.

I hate to admit that I spend much of my life not present and not aware. I’ve gotten great at paying attention to the wonderful moments – even the mundane ones – like the breeze on my skin as my daughter drives me to the gym, or the beauty that surrounds me on vacation in Ecuador (or on my porch in Pennsylvania), the love that courses through me as I parent my kids or laugh with my husband. But there are many, many more moments that I allow to pass me by, unnoticed.

Each breath into and out of my body is an opportunity for gratitude, peace, and joy. The sound of my son and his friends arguing over poker or Minecraft or which teacher is better is an opportunity again for gratitude, and to smile at the normalcy of his childhood. The walk up the street, the run in the morning, the endless dishes and laundry that seem to make up my days – all these are a chance to choose to be present and aware.

To choose to be here, exactly as I am, exactly as I feel, exactly with what is.

I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share this post with others if it resonates with you!

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