Another yoga class. Another instructor. Another reminder.
“Another opportunity to surrender,” she said.
There’s been quite a few opportunities to surrender in my life recently. All is fine, and yet some is challenging. I have more than a few opportunities to surrender to what is.
I was away for a few days, getting certified in a coaching instrument I need for a client. Then I got the call that my husband’s back was acting up and he couldn’t function and needed me home. An opportunity to surrender. An opportunity to surrender to what is, and realize that I’ll figure out how to learn what I need to learn in order to help my client. An opportunity to surrender to what is and support my husband in whatever way I can. It’s his back that’s acting up and he gets to want and need whatever he wants, and deal with it however he wants. Even if it’s entirely different from what I would want and how I would deal. I get to surrender my knowledge of what he should do or how he should be and just let him be.
Life and work are extremely busy for me right now. Another opportunity to surrender. I can only do what I can do and get done as much as I can get done. Funny, this coaching instrument included feedback for me. Apparently those around me see me as quite the perfectionist, striving too hard and pushing myself too much. “If only they knew how bad it used to be,” I said to the facilitator. “If only they knew the voices in my head that I silence or ignore. The ones that tell me to do more and do better and do it now.” If only they knew how I work to surrender, and let things (and me) be.
The stress fracture on my leg last fall? Another opportunity to surrender. The busy family schedule and inability to have a family dinner very often? If at all? Another opportunity to surrender. The fact that my legs still aren’t strong like they used to be (because of the stress fracture) and my balance in yoga is nearly nonexistent? Another opportunity to surrender. My daughter traveling in Central America, and spending weeks off the grid and out of touch? Another opportunity to surrender.
None of it is bad, other than my husband’s pain. But it’s all an opportunity to surrender. An opportunity to surrender to what is.
I can surrender to not knowing it all. I can surrender to not getting it all done and not getting it all done right. (Even if others think I’m still aiming for that perfection.) It’s all another opportunity to surrender.
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