I had another wonderful weekend with my high school friends. A weekend of laughter, sisterhood, challenging, questioning, supporting, and playing. Did I mention the laughter?
They, of course, asked about my book – how the journey was going, what was new, what was the latest. I let them know. I told them about the new title, about my working with a new mentor, about my hope and excitement of possibly finding a publishing home soon.
“Wow,” they responded. “You have such tenacity.”
Now, even though I’ve heard this before – that I hold on and keep going and stay with it – it surprised me when they said it. I know that I move forward and keep my eye on the goal, yet I guess I don’t realize it’s so obvious to others. Even others who know me very, very well.
And their comment made me question. I firmly believe that my tenacity has saved my life and pulled me through my toughest times. And, at times, I wonder if my tenaciousness is a good thing. Especially when it’s so obvious to others. Does that mean that I have at least a bit too much?
Does that mean I should give up more easily? Or not push as hard? Or for as long? Do I have a predisposition to not letting go? Is it possibly an unhealthy determination? An addiction?
I know that there have been times when I might have been better off walking away, or at least walking away sooner. And I know that there have been times when I have walked away. I know that my stick-to-it-ness has given me the path, the power, and the umph to survive. And thrive.
So how much tenacity is a good thing? When is it helping me? And when might it be hurting me? I was talking with a client yesterday, about her propensity to approach everything and everyone (I mean everything and everyone) with an intention to win and an attitude of winner takes all. “What I want for you,” I said, “is for you to be at choice with that. So that when it helps you, and helps you be your best, you can have at it, and when it doesn’t, you can choose another view of the world and your place in it.” Or as Dr. Phil says, “how’s that working out for you?”
Maybe the same is true of my tenacity.
I am proud of my tenacity. It is a large part of who I am, and how I flourish and succeed. And enjoy life. And there are times, maybe, when I can just stick-to-it a little less, and see how that goes.
I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share this post with others if it resonates with you!