In my “work life” I recently became certified in a 360° feedback assessment that I really believe is different. It uncovers, and highlights, our negative patterns of behavior and underlying belief systems that may cause them.
I’ll proudly announce that when I had my feedback debriefed by a coach, he told me that I was the most self-aware leader he’d ever debriefed. The good news is I generally know my stuff, and I generally know where it comes from.
And yet, even as much as I know it, I was astounded (and upset) when I saw “critical” highlighted on my assessment. Critical? Do people really think I’m harshly critical? I hated that. I hate that still.
Then I started to pay attention to some of the thoughts randomly floating through my mind. Damn, they are critical! I didn’t (don’t) think that I think I’m better than everyone else, but damn, the way I critique others it can certainly seem like I do.
Maybe that’s what the feedback means.
I’ve decided to sit with and notice this ongoing commentary in my mind. To start to let it go as well, but at first to at least notice it. As nonjudgmentally as I can.
Which made me realize what a waste of time judgment is.
When I spend time in judgment of others it’s a waste. When I spend time in judgment of myself it’s a waste. Judging the ongoing tapes in my head, the way someone else drives their car, my yoga practice (or yours), whether I blew off too much time (or not enough), your choices in parenting, life, work, exercise (or not), food, humor…my choices in parenting, life, work, exercise (or not), food, humor…WHATEVER!
It’s all a waste of time. And energy. There are so many more life filling, joy creating, interesting, challenging, engaging, productive, and fun things I could do.
It’s a waste of time. I may sit with and notice it, and do my best to accept it as okay for now. But I’m also going to do my best to stop it. It’s a waste of time.
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