Monthly Archives: June 2016

Ask and ye shall receive

My mother was here a few days ago, to celebrate my son’s “graduation” from 8th grade. She asked me if I’d seen any yellow birds recently. I told her no.

I haven’t seen any, and I miss them.

This morning I was driving back from the gym and I realized I was driving and watching the road, and also looking around for yellow birds.

“I really want to see a yellow bird,” I thought.

“You can’t ask to seem them on demand,” I thought next.

I turned the corner, turned into my driveway, and guess what I saw? I guess I can ask to see them on demand.

A yellow bird must have been sitting right on our driveway, because as I pulled the car in, it flew away. Away but close enough that I could follow it…and follow it…and follow it. It flew from neighborhood tree to neighborhood tree for about five minutes, and I watched it – and was in awe – until it flew away.

It always amazes me how easy it is to have what I want, when I’m loose about what I want and I don’t get obsessive. It always amazes me that I’m amazed when I see a yellow bird immediately after acknowledging that I want to see a yellow bird. It amazes me that I see one, and it amazes me that I’m amazed.

When will I learn?

When will I fully remember that the joy and delight (and yellow birds) I’m looking for are right before me? When will I fully remember not to doubt? Maybe part of my joy is a bit of doubting and then – smack in my face – there’s a yellow bird.

Ask and ye shall receive. Seek and ye shall find.

Even yellow birds.

I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share this post with others if it resonates with you!

Categories: My Story, , , , Tags:

This breath is all we have

How easy it is for my mind to rush ahead to what’s next and what might happen. And what I have to get done. How easy it is to get caught in too much thinking, and rethinking, and rethinking.

This breath is all we have.

All I have is right here, right now, right in front of me. No matter how many times I remember this, I then forget it. No matter how often I hear it, it’s a good reminder. Each time my yoga instructor offers this prompt, I think, “Oh yeah. That’s right. Just this breath.”

This breath. And now this one.

I know that I’m blessed beyond belief. I know that at times the scars from my past ache. I know that I have a choice – I always have a choice – in where and how I focus and how much joy I allow in my life.

And I know that I only have this breath.

It’s so easy to get carried away, thinking I have to fix things. Or fix me. But when I breathe, and breathe again, I feel release, relief, and ease. I feel my heart fill with love – to overflowing.

This breath is all I have. That’s all I have to say about that right now.

I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share this post with others if it resonates with you!

Categories: Recovery, , , Tags:

I have to believe that love conquers all

There is too much horror in our world. Too much pain. Too much suffering. And too much hatred.

I have to believe in love.

I have to believe that somehow there is more good than evil. That love will conquer all. That even as crazy people do what I consider to be heinous things, there is space for healing, for hope, and for love.

I know what it’s like to know that you have the TRUTH, and to be willing to live and die for that. I know how intoxicating that is, and how it leads to wrong, wrong choices.

I also know, at least for me, that there is no TRUTH, and especially no truth that professes violence and death.

I have to believe that love can conquer all. That we need to fight for justice and acceptance and humanity.

But that love can – and will – conquer all.

I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share this post with others if it resonates with you!

Categories: Resilience, , Tags: