It seems simple. It is simple. And yet it’s not.
It was the “instruction” we got from the yoga instructor Monday morning. “Find the joy.”
It’s always my choice. I forget it sometimes, but it is.
I’m having a few rough rounds at work. Things are happening with clients that are triggering my buttons. It feels like the confusion of the Church all over again – not knowing what’s really going on; feeling misunderstood and misinterpreted, and blamed for things that I haven’t done (at least not intentionally); feeling like I’m messing up. I have to own my part in all of it. I have to acknowledge that it triggers old fears and feelings – and that it’s not old fears and feelings.
And then I have to find the joy.
Things may hurt. That doesn’t change. People may piss me off. That doesn’t change. I may feel judged, or judge myself. That doesn’t change.
What changes is how I respond, and I can respond by finding the joy.
It may take a while. I may have to pause. I may need to find someone, or someones, to give me a real or virtual or metaphorical hug.
It may require me exercising all my self-compassion and self-forgiveness, and shifting my focus. It may require me cracking a few bad jokes. But I have strengthened my joy-finding muscles, and now is the time to put them into use.
Now is the time to follow my own advice and find my own joy.
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