A different yoga instructor. A different learning. “Allow it to get messy,” he said. What a concept.
Allow myself to not know the answer, to not know what to do. Allow myself to slip up, to make mistakes, to try different things. Allow myself to mush around until something works.
As a recovering perfectionist – who somehow still seems like a complete perfectionist to people around me – the notion of doing something – anything – messily is somewhat foreign and quite mind-blowing.
But I’m doing it. Contrary to the belief of those people around me, I am living my life quite messily. I am intentionally living my life quite messily.
I ran and stopped midway to stretch, rather than pushing myself to complete the run without stopping. Nothing much to many, but radical to me. I thought I skipped a post last week. In retrospect I don’t think I did, but the fact that I told myself it was fine and didn’t give it another thought (until I was surprised to see a post post) is again radical. I stumble through my yoga practice and poses, connect with people when I don’t have the “right” words to say, and practice, play, and try more than I ever have.
I allow life to get messy and enjoy the mess. Like finger painting – isn’t the experience of your fingers mushing in the paint at least part of the reason behind finger painting, not just the picture at the end? I think that’s true for life overall. I’ll probably remember this day more if it gets messy. If I get messy. I’ll probably have more fun and learn more new things if I allow things to get messy.
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