Whatever you do is enough

Again our yoga instructor offered this to us during our practice. Again it resonated.

As someone who has, and can, get stuck with “I’m not enough.” As someone who has worked at replacing that self-defeating (and lambasting) mantra with a full-blown recognition of my own enough-ness, I latched onto our instructor’s gift. And held on tight.

Over the years I replaced, “I’m not enough,” with “I am enough. I have enough. I do enough.” I still have visions of myself riding in a taxicab home from a support group one evening, repeating over and over and over to myself, “I am enough. I have enough. I do enough.” Over the years I replaced “I am enough. I have enough. I do enough.” with “I am more than enough. I have more than enough. I do more than enough.” Somehow the extra “more” was necessary – or at least helpful – to pull myself out of the not-enough-ness that I could throw myself into.

So when our instructor suggested that whatever was enough, there in class as well as outside in the “real” world, I felt myself ease again. As a friend said to me recently, while reflecting on our similar reflex to push and punish ourselves, that reflex comes from a desire to “control everything happening around me.” If I don’t make mistakes, I reduce the chance of being hurt or abandoned. And if I try harder, and harder, and harder still, and hard “enough”, I reduce the chance of making mistakes.

It amazes me how many of us are wired so hard and so tight, with such lack of self-compassion. It amazes me how prevalent this self-defeating and lambasting mental approach is.

It also amazes me how easy it is to let it go, at least for a moment. How permission from outside – from my yoga instructor – reminded me to ease up on myself.

It also amazes me how I’m getting better – and better – at this. The other day another friend asked me how I juggled all that I had going on without freaking out or going into (too much) overdrive. I’m diligently (and delightedly) working on moving my memoir towards its publication date in September. I’m relatively managing (and enjoying) my leadership consulting practice that is booming and busier than ever. I’m still a (extremely lucky) parent with one child at home. It is a lot.

I laughed when my friend asked me, and I acknowledged that I’ve learned to just do what I can do, do what’s in front of me, and trust that somehow everything else that needs to happen will somehow happen. So far it’s working at least relatively well.

Which means that somehow deep down inside of myself I must be reminding myself, as my yoga instructor did, that “Whatever you do is enough.”

I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share this post with others if it resonates with you!

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4 thoughts on “Whatever you do is enough

  1. Lisa, Thank you, as always, this was very helpful…..What do you do as a Leadership Consultant?

    I’m looking forward to your memoir. I always find it very difficult to even whisper that I was involved with the UC. Grace K.

    1. Hi Grace. Thank you. I get not being able to even whisper it. Years ago i was told I had to integrate it into my life and psyche. I emphatically refused. And I have found that I have healed through allowing it to be a part of me. But I completely understand.

      As a Leadership Consultant (and Executive Coach), I work with individuals, teams, and companies helping them show up more effectively, have the conversations they need to have, and be the people they need to be. 🙂 We facilitate multi-day leadership programs, leadership team meetings, etc., and work one-on-one as coaches. My website is http://www.chatsworthconsulting.com.

      Thank you again for your support and comments. I’m looking forward to my memoir too! 🙂

  2. Throughout my life I have been very competitive and consequently driven. I still was able to acknowledge at the end of the day, whenever that was that I had done the best that I could to accomplish my goal and tomorrow I will try again. Now dealing with life after an abusive marriage and the emotional and psychological destruction caused by that my attitude has not changed although I have had to battle through the trauma. I believe that as long as we are carefull no to give ouselves permission to stop striving to be better than we were yesterday then what we achievd today is okay. So of ourselves not having read your book it is unfair for me to comment on it. I will leave you with how I move through life, “At the end of the day did you try your best. If you can answer yes then you had a good day.”

    1. Thank you Bob. Someone once said to me, “You all try your best. Whatever you did was giving the best you could at the time.” I’ve sat with that one a long time.

      I am happy for you that your attitude – which seems so self supporting and caring – did not change. And I will share with you how I approach my day – “At the end of the day, did you laugh, love, enjoy, learn, and connect? If you can answer yes, then you had a good day.” (I think both of our approaches are good 🙂 ) Thank you again.

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