There really isn’t much more to say after that.
I learned “let go and let god” years ago, when I first crawled into Al-Anon. It was one of the many sayings and practices that saved my soul and helped me begin to piece my life back together.
It’s at least as essential now.
The book keeps moving ahead: The details are many and, at times, blurring – as exciting as this whole process is. The decisions seem nonstop and overwhelming – again, as exciting as this whole process is. What if I forget something essential? What if I make the wrong decision? What if I f—k everything up?
Boy my “editor” is potentially having a hey day judging my every move.
Let go and let god. I remember I can only do what I can do, and I’m honestly not in charge of everything (and certainly not in charge of how successful the book is…or isn’t).
My desire to help my dad – to ease his suffering and brighten his monotonous, depressing life – continues. And while I’m researching a few options to change the way things are, there are some ways I have to let things be. I can’t make his life great. I can’t ease his pain – physical, mental, emotional, or otherwise. Again, I can only do what I can do, and I need to let go and trust for the rest of it.
My need to continuously (and continuously) better myself. To be my best me. That is certainly something I need to let go (and let god) about. I know I am a work in progress, and though many of you might happily point out to me my highly perfectionistic ways of approaching my life and my self, I give myself more grace and mercy (thank you again Anne Lamott) than I ever did. I let go and let god and remember that I can only do what I can do, and that I am, by definition (as was pointed out to me many, many years ago) doing the best I can. Honestly, I know myself well enough to know that if I could do better at something, I most likely would. Yes – to my big brother – I even try to do “not perfect” perfectly.
Let go and let god. It allows me to breathe. It allows me to slow down, ponder, ease, and enjoy. It allows me to release my false sense of control and somehow know that everything will be okay. And if it’s not okay, I will get through it.
Let go and let god. One of the best things I ever learned. One of my most important lessons to remember.
Let go and let god.
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