Yes, it’s another lesson from my yoga practice and instructor. Yes, I think she was talking about yoga. And yes, I think it’s true about life.
Life is so much easier if I don’t have to prove anything.
As someone who can feel such pressure to prove myself – to prove I’m worthy, to prove I’m lovable, to prove I’m doing as much as I possibly can (and most likely to prove I’m doing more than anyone else, just to be certain) – when I release my constant push to do more, better, and best, life is easier. I am easier.
I am easier when I’m in the moment and just enjoying the moment. I am easier when I do “good enough” and let that be enough. I pretty much still have a broken gauge on what is enough, because – as I suggest to my clients – accurate versions of enough and not enough are easily skewed by perfectionism. My “barely enough” is probably more than enough, and my “enough” is probably way more than enough. I just don’t know how to fully know that yet. I’m working on it.
I’m working hard (probably very hard ☺) to build a more accurate gauge with a more reasonable version of enough. It’s a one-day-at-a-time, one-minute-at-a-time, one-learning-at-a-time process. Again, my brother once told me that I try to do “not perfect” perfectly.
It’s a process.
When I let myself do my best in the moment, and I let that be enough. When I let myself breathe and feel the beauty of a pause. When I put my hand on my heart and send myself love and compassion. These are ways I step out of trying, working, and sweating to prove.
The freedom of letting go of my need to prove is immense. And intense. I remind myself – sometimes over and over – that there isn’t anything to prove to anyone, as much as my brain might have been wired to think – and act as if – there is.
I took an assessment the other day. It said that competition was one of my strengths. I read their description and thought, “No. That’s not me.” Everyone I show it to totally sees it as me.
I realize that it’s not that I need to beat others around me; it’s just that I’ve carved grooves in my brain that constantly push me to more, better, the most that I can. Those grooves probably helped keep me whole, and those grooves probably help me achieve.
But those grooves, if not properly monitored, can drive me to too much and to such a need to prove everything all the time.
And life is so much easier if you don’t have to prove anything. I’m going to breathe and remember that, as many times as I need to and can today.
Life is so much easier if you don’t have to prove anything.
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