It’s getting real. It’s getting intense. And my perfectionism is trying damn hard to kick in.
In the last month, we’ve finalized the book, created a behind-the-scenes video and a customized playlist, launched the pre-order campaign, revealed a bit of my “less than normal” past to clients who had no idea, and worked out details on my book tour events. Just a few details. Just a bit naked-feeling. Just a good chance for my perfectionism to kick in.
I feel that I’m more anxious than usual. I notice my intense desire to GET THINGS SETTLED AND DONE! I watch my desperate need to control more things that I can’t control. And did I ever mention that I’m not that good at details. I’m not that good at details.
I am terrified of messing this all up!
So today I decided that I would forgive myself, in advance, for every ball I might drop, detail I might miss, and person I might forget to email. I forgive myself, in advance, for my reactions when people react to the first chapter…and when they don’t. I forgive myself, in advance, for book events that don’t happen and media interviews I don’t get. I forgive myself, in advance, if I’m ever not gracious, or not gracious enough. I forgive myself, in advance, for that edgy feeling that’s staying with me a bit, as more and more people read more and more about me. It would be great if I completely didn’t care what others think, instead of just mostly not caring.
I forgive myself. I forgive myself. I forgive myself in advance. I hope you can forgive me too.
Because I wrote this book to share hope, love, and joy. I worked for nearly twenty years to make it as strong as I could and to find the right publisher…in order to share hope, love, and joy. I connect with each and every one of you in order to share hope, love, and joy. And I therefore refuse to move through this process in fear of mistakes and mishaps. I refuse to stay anxious, afraid, and desperate. Instead I choose to enjoy this process, to laugh at my mistakes, and to open my arms and heart to the excitement and fun.
I choose to forgive myself – now in advance and again and again and again along the way, if necessary.
And to have fun. Join me?
I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share this post with others if it resonates with you!