It’s a worthwhile question to ask myself, over and over. What do I need right now?
It may be a cup of tea. It may be a run. It may be a hug. It may be to write. It may be a myriad of things, but if I don’t stop and check in with myself, I won’t know what it is. If I don’t stop and check in with myself, I very likely won’t get what I need…because I won’t have done whatever I needed to do to get it.
My weeks of book tour were amazing…and tiring. It was wonderful to see so many friends, family, and strangers…and it was tiring. By the end of it I was so sick of talking about myself. And I felt so behind on everything.
What do I need right now? It’s such a good question to ask myself.
I am a recovering perfectionist. I am a recovering do-too-much-ist. I am a recovering try-too-hard-ist. I read a Facebook post from a “second-gen” Moonie (someone born and/or raised in the Church). He counted his self-determination and persistence as a gift he got from his upbringing. That may be true for him, but my self-determination and persistence can, more often than I care to admit, drive me into the ground.
What do I need right now?
Often, it’s rest. Often, it’s to try less hard. Often, it’s a chance to stop and breathe and go a little slower. Because I can often go too hard and fast and long.
Sometimes it is to plow through. Sometimes it is to push myself to do a little more. Sometimes it is to run a bit faster, lift a heavier weight, and attend one more yoga practice.
Sometimes it’s a funny movie (go see Bohemian Rhapsody!!). Sometimes it’s a heart-to-heart with an old or new friend. Sometimes it’s the glory of the changing leaves.
There are so many things that can fuel me and fill me with joy. So many experiences, so many people, so much beauty. I used to be someone who knew they needed to never need anything. Who learned it was weak to want. Who believed that strength meant never having a desire that needed to be filled.
I was wrong. Needing is human, and needing can help me connect with other humans.
What do I need right now? And now? And now?
What do I need right now?
I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share this post with others if it resonates with you!
Photo by Jason Leung on Unsplash
