It was my holiday gift from my older kid. A magnificent, weighty mug with words on it. Words that my kid, along with perhaps many other people, thought I needed to hear and know right now. Words I think that maybe many, if not all, of us need to hear and know right now.

“DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT” And on the bottom of the mug, “YOU’RE DOING FINE”

There is pressure on me and in me. Pressure to keep to the moon and back moving off the shelves and into people’s hands. Pressure to spread my message of hope and love. Pressure to figure out anything and everything I can possibly do…and then to do it perfectly. Beyond perfectly. (And yes, I know perfection doesn’t really exist, but it’s still a deeply ingrained impulse and tough to put down.)

I will admit that, most likely, the pressure is self-imposed. Of course, it’s self-imposed. That doesn’t make it feel any less pressure-y. That doesn’t make it any quieter when it’s shouting in my head.

But I can pour myself a cup of coffee or make myself a cup of tea and read the words my kid offered me – “DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT – YOU’RE DOING FINE.”

There is pressure to be my best self – whatever the hell that is. Again, it’s self-imposed. Again, it’s a deeply ingrained impulse that drives me incessantly. Until I read my mug. “DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT” it tells me, “YOU’RE DOING FINE” and I decide that I’m fine just how I am. My mug says so. It must be true. I can let it be. I can let me be. I can say “f—k it” and chill.

Not everyone is wired as tightly as I am, I’m sure, but many people are wired more tightly than they need to be. Not everyone had these impulses ingrained in their brains by their childhood in a cult, but I’ve met (and coached) more people than I care to admit who have deeply ingrained impulses very similar to mine.

To all of us I say, “DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT – YOU’RE DOING FINE.” I offer the words that my kid gave me, the words that I’m currently using to breathe down my anxiety and ease my self-imposed pressure, the words I read – over and over if necessary – on my mug.


I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share this post with others if it resonates with you!

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