This isn’t my line. (It’s Anne Lamott’s line.) But I think it’s a good line. Whatever your thoughts are about god (or God, or G-d, or goddess, or any other power greater than yourself), at least for me, it’s a great reminder that it’s not me.
As I’ve written before, I can have a tough time with being human. I know I’m not alone with that; I have clients who hate to admit their humanness as well. I also know it’s way kooky of me.
It’s way kooky to think that I have to be “more than.” More than what you ask? I’m not completely sure, but I’m almost sure it’s more than everything. I somehow think I should have no foibles, no weaknesses, nothing I’m not able to do. I should have no needs or wants. I should be able to withstand anything and everything. And, as my big brother would point out, do it all perfectly…even do “not perfect” perfectly.
When I hear my clients admit that they hate to admit their humanness, I know how whacked that is. And yet, I said that same thing, meaning it wholeheartedly, years ago.
I now more readily admit my humanness, but I can still slip into taking charge – or at least feeling like I need to take charge – in order to keep everything safe.
I am not in charge. A great name for god is “not me.”
I can slip into believing I know what’s best. What’s best for me, for you, for the world, for everyone and everything. That also is most likely my false beliefs that, first, things are not safe, and second, that it’s up to me to keep everything safe.
Again, I am not in charge. A great name for god is “not me.”
I may be the only one with this issue. I may be the only one who learned to take on everything when they were young and who mistakenly concluded that my taking everything on was what made everything okay. I may be the only one – or, I guess, at least me and Anne Lamott.
Or maybe others of you have this weird, self-limiting and lambasting issue as well.
When I crawled into Al-Anon decades ago, one of the first things I was told was that I wasn’t in charge and that I couldn’t be in charge. That I had to find a power greater than myself – any power greater than myself – to turn things over to. With stops and starts, I have learned to turn things over. I open my hands and heart to the Universe. I “let go and let god.” Or I just let go.
It’s good to remember that a good name for god is not me. It’s good to remember that all I have to do, today and every day, is show up. Be. Love. And be and love some more.
I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share this post with others if it resonates with you!