It’s a simple thought. It’s an important thought. Soothe yourself as often as you can.

The more I connect with other Second Gens (people born and/or raised in cults or extremist situations). The more I connect with other people who have faced childhood challenges (or adulthood challenges) and who have felt that fear or guilt or shame or terror. The more I connect with others who have concocted survival techniques and learned lies they’ve classified as truth (like that they’re unworthy or life is only bad or hard) in order to feel safe.

The more I connect with others, the more I know that soothing ourselves is a damn good idea.

Many of us walk through life on high alert. Many of us put ourselves second…or third…or fourth…or last. Many of us have learned not to ask or to want or to need. Many of us have learned to always be self-sufficient and to always go it alone.

All the more reason we need to soothe ourselves – however and whenever we can.

For me it’s, as always, seeing the trees against the sky or a beautiful flower. It’s spotting my yellow birds. It’s connecting with someone I love and/or asking for a hug.

It’s reminding myself to look for what’s working and what’s good. It’s noticing what I’ve accomplished and all the love in my life. It’s bringing thoughts of someone I love to mind and bringing a smile to my face.

It’s a cup of tea and a snuggle under a blanket. It’s a walk on the beach or ping pong with my kid. It’s a quiet joke, an intimate memory, a loud uproarious laugh. It’s a text with an emoji. A What’sApp chat. A song. A dance. An escape into a book.

There are so many ways to soothe myself and so many ways to bring ease and joy to others. There is so much beauty and love and connection and joy and wonder and laughter and delight to be had and to be shared.

Soothe yourself as often as you can. And let me know how it goes.

I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share this post with others if it resonates with you!

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