Life feels like a balancing act right now. Even more than usual.
Dipping into the news so that I’m aware. Extracting myself from the magnetic negative pull. Acknowledging my emotions – the fear, anxiety, sadness, and grief. Easing myself into calm, peace, hope, and love. Being there for others as much as I can (family, friends, clients). Taking care of myself more than even I think is “necessary.”
I research homemade masks, make myself a mask, and wear my mask during my walk. Then I remind myself that I can wear my mask as a symbol of doing all I can to help and be part of the solution – rather than as a symbol of fear. I wear my mask to make sure that, if I’m unknowingly sick, I’m not infecting others.
I can choose to have my CDC recommended actions represent hope and solutions rather than anxiety and worry. I can choose to let the sunshine in.
Because the sun is still shining.
I know that I’m privileged that I – and most of those closest to me – have not been in the worst of this. Not yet. Maybe we will be at some point; maybe we won’t. I know that I’m privileged to have a home that’s comfortable to isolate in and to not isolate alone (and to like the people I’m with). I know that I’m privileged in so many ways.
I also know that, as my kid reminded me and I’ve reminded clients, friends, and family, perhaps for everyone and certainly for those of us with trauma in our backgrounds, now can be hyper-triggering.
And I can choose to let the sunshine in.
I can choose to put my hand on my heart. To notice the beauty around me. To laugh with my friends and family and to do my best to make them laugh. (That works best, I think, with my best friends from high school. Perhaps that’s why they’re my best friends after so many decades. They laugh at all the stupid things I say and do.) To listen to the 7pm clapping from New York City as I FaceTime with my brother and his family (and others) as we have a virtual chopped competition in my home.
To let the sunshine in.
I, like everyone, want this to be over and through. I dream of a hopefully better, more compassionate world. I dream of more equity and shared privilege and righting of so many of the wrongs.
And, for today, I am doing what I can to envision and hopefully help bring about that world. And I’m doing my best to let the sunshine in.
I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share this post with others if it resonates with you!