One of the ways I’ve been upping my self-care is through my yoga practice. More and more yoga practice. I am lucky that my yoga studio runs and posts new virtual classes every day. It is a saving grace for me.
As I practiced the other day, the teacher offered this thought – “We can always begin again.” I need to remember that now.
When my older child was young, I used to remind them that we could start the day over again any time we wanted to. If things were going sour; if a bad mood had overtaken one of us; if we were in a funk – we always had the option to “begin the day again” so we could see it as a good day rather than a day run amuck.
At the time, my kid would pause, smile, and then pantomime getting out of bed and brushing their teeth – to literally begin the day again. Which isn’t quite what I meant, and isn’t necessary. We don’t have to repeat the actions that started our day in order to start over, but, at the time, I happily went along.
And today, as some days – and some moments – are easier than others and some are just hard, it is a blessing to remember that I can always begin again. I can start anew. I can offer myself a “wipe the slate clean” moment for my current moments and intentionally focus myself as I want to focus. I can soothe my heart, offer love and care to those around me (oh, and to myself), notice the beauty and the good. Or, if it’s all I can do, I can have compassion with myself if I’m in a funk and I can’t get out.
As of earlier this week, there is at least one Corona case in Danny’s (my dad’s) nursing home. As of this morning, I missed a phone call from the nursing home and I’m waiting for them to call me back and tell me why they called. I am breathing and refocusing and restarting my day and my moments moment-by-moment. I am letting in all the ease and love around me. I am sitting with my hand on my heart. I am remembering that I don’t yet know if he is sick, and I do know that this is completely out of my control. I am expressing tons of gratitude that I moved Danny close to me last August and have seen him nearly every week since then. I am acknowledging that, yes, he can be quite challenging and difficult (to put it mildly, as friends and family would remind me), and yes, ours is a complicated relationship. But, yes also, I am grateful that I’ve been his primary caregiver for the last decade plus and that we’ve had some special moments, and yes, I do adore my dad.
Thank you for your patience as I dumped all that here. (P.S. For now, at least, he’s fine.)
I take a breath. I put my hand on my heart. I feel the love.
I remember that I can always begin again.
I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share this post with others if it resonates with you!
Photo by Danielle MacInnes on Unsplash
This notion is related to the lesson that we must first forgive ourselves before we can be enabled to forgive others. So it is with starting your day over; first forgive yourself, and make it genuine.
I love you. Allan
And I love you. And thank you.