I’m trying to stop trying.
I know how weird and backwards that sounds.
Just the fact that I’m focused on trying not to try has me still trying. This is what can be so slippery about the “grooves” in my brain and finding my way through and out.
I am hyperaware of my hypervigilance, and I’m hyper-willing to let that hypervigilance go. To quote Bob Newhart, to just “Stop It!”
I’m hyperaware that, left to my own devices, I’m still trying to do and be perfect. I hate to admit that, but it is true. Without knowing it and without thinking it through, I’m holding myself to whatever standard I think you have for me. Plus some standards I have for myself.
So I’m trying to stop.
I’ve realized that I can stop for a few minutes – or seconds – at a time. That awareness can be my first step, and once aware of the fact that I may be trying again, I can take a breath, feel my feet on the ground, know that I’m okay and whole in this moment, and try – for a moment – not to try.
And then take a breath and try again not to try.
As I’ve shared before, my mantra these days is:
BE ME FULLY, WHOLLY, COMPLETELY
AT EASE, RELAXED, AND FREE
LOVE WITH ALL MY HEART
I think this will be a gradual, ongoing learning process for me. Care to join me in it?
Let me know how it goes. Let’s give up on trying and just be.
I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share this post with others if it resonates with you!
Photo by tolu bamwo on nappy