I was talking the other day with someone I respect. Someone I turn to when I get caught in my old belief patterns and behaviors. Someone who calls me on my shit and who loves me unconditionally and who is my main reality check and cheering squad.
We were (lovingly) looking at my old belief patterns and behaviors and strategizing the new belief patterns and behaviors I am learning to adopt.
“Okay,” I said. “I’ll do it. I’ll do it messily, but I’ll do it.”
That, my friends, is incredible growth for me.
I’ve written endlessly (perhaps a bit boringly and repetitively) about my perfectionism. My compulsion to do it all, do it well, do it now, do it perfectly. No matter what “it” is. And about how I’m lessening that compulsion. How I’m keeping my hand on my heart and breathing deeply and fully through the kicked-up anxiety and fear…and lessening that compulsion.
But to be willing to – to aim to – do something messily? Wow.
I a trying on new thought patterns. I am saying no, giving up, stopping before things are done, and – perhaps most astoundedly – letting it be okay if all of you (or any of you) think that’s not okay.
I’m doing me. Loving me. Accepting me. Standing up for me. Cheering me. And putting me first.
All new, hard, crazy behavior. And all – or at least most – of I’m doing messily.
(And get this – I’m actually quite enjoying the mess!)
I know how blessed I am in so many ways. How much light and love and joy and beauty and magnificence I have in my life. I’m loving how much space I’m giving myself to change my old patterns and embrace my mess.
I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share this post with others if it resonates with you!