I need to remember this today. That I have a choice.
I know I do, but I can forget that I do. And every time I remember, and I take a deep breath and (thank you Rick Hanson) remember that right now, right here, I am all right, I feel myself ease. I feel myself relax. I feel myself choose to be right here in this breath and be okay. I make a choice to love myself, to take care of myself, and to come from love.
There are days this feeling stays with me, and there are days I have to remember this with every single breath. Every single breath. And that’s okay.
Even if I feel triggered. Even if I feel misunderstood. Even if I feel like it’s all just too much, I can still pause and breathe and choose how I will show up.
I learned years ago, In Jill Bolte Taylor’s, My Stroke of Insight, about the 90-second rule. When I am triggered, when my flight or flight response kicks in, my body is flooded with chemicals and I can’t physiologically choose a different response. Not for 90-seconds. But after that minute-and-a-half, I do have a choice. I may feel like I don’t, but I do.
Don’t get me wrong, I am (finally) learning that sometimes my best response is anger or protection. I am learning more and more to recognize and speak my truth.
And I am always learning that, for me, even as I speak my truth, I want to come from love. I want to make a choice to love myself more, take care of myself more, and come from love more.
In this moment here, I make this choice. Again and again and again.
Love With All My Heart
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Photo by Alyssa Sieb on nappy
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