As we all know, my drive and perfectionism are wonky. Yes, these coping mechanisms were carved into my brain. Intentionally carved into my brain. Yes, they saved my life back then in so many ways. Yes, they have taken me far and are a huge part of who I am and, honestly, all I’ve accomplished. And yes, they so get in my way.
As much as I breathe and go slowly, as much as I put my hand on my heart and offer myself compassion, as much as I broaden my thoughts and my heart and choose to delight and play rather than push and do, I somehow “look up” and realize I’m in drive and/or perfectionism again.
And again.
Damn.
Oh well.
It makes sense. Again, they were intentionally carved into my brain; they are a huge part of who I am and all I’ve accomplished; and much of me can slip into still believing that I still need to be and behave this way.
Spoiler alert – I don’t.
So today, I’m making another promise to myself that I will stop more often and consciously focus on fun and joy. That I will deliberately pick my brain up from wherever it is and put it down on what feels good. What makes me smile. What delights me. There is so much to delight in and so many things that feel good and so many people who make me smile.
I will soak in it and let it sink in. I will, again, take my brain from Velcro for the bad and Teflon for the good to Teflon for the bad and Velcro for the good. Even if just for a few more minutes.
I know I am rewiring my brain, and I am happily rewiring my brain. My drive and perfectionism have taken me far, and I am blissfully letting them go. And letting them go again.
I am focusing on fun and joy.
Oh, and on love. I will, again, Love With All My Heart.
I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share this post with others if it resonates with you!
