I remember when a co-conspirator in my Positive Psychology certification course offered me her mantra – “love yourself first.” It blew my mind when she said that, as we huddled together digging into our desires to love ourselves more and to silence – or at least quiet – the seemingly nonending critical voices in our heads.
“Love yourself first,” she said. “That’s what my friend and I decided to base our lives on.” Then she ripped out a piece of paper from her notebook and wrote, “Always remember, before anything else, Love Yourself First.” She slid it over the table to me. I still have it hanging on my office wall, so that I can remember. And remember again.
But “Love Myself Most” – wow.
When I love myself that deeply, that thoroughly, that fully, and that unconditionally, I am left wanting nothing. Really. I am so full, that all you (or anyone else) bring(s) me is just more delicious icing on my already magnificent cake. I am full. I am whole. I am complete.
@Sherisalata said something like, “When I make every decision from that space, from loving myself not just first, but most…I have all that I ever need.” If I walk through my day with my hand on my heart (because I’m me after all), and with that hand I am reminding myself to love myself most. That I love myself most.
I have spent decades filling the holes that I felt inside me. I have learned, and learned again, that I don’t need others’ approval or others’ love. Certainly, it’s a “nice to have,” and it can feel quite good. But I have gotten deep, deep, deep in my core that I am enough – more than enough in fact – and that I have nothing to prove and I don’t need anyone anymore to tell me that I’m okay. I can let everyone else off the hook for this. And I can Love. With. All. My. Heart.
Truly I have this – or at least I have it most days and most times, and when I lose this surety and knowledge, I almost always know that it’ll come back and I almost always know how to help it along.
Love Myself Most is a fast, hard, powerful reminder.
Try it. Let me know how it goes.
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