I know my head often means well, but my head often gets in my way.
The “stinkin thnkin” I can have that keeps me stuck and hurting. The need to convince, to explain, to do whatever it takes to win your agreement and approval. The endless loops I can go around and around in my brain, trying to figure things out and make things better. The rehashing and rehashing and rehashing again that I can get caught in.
These are all old coping mechanisms I needed in my #formercultkid childhood and warped thought and behavior patterns that were intentionally carved into me to control me in my #formercultkid childhood. And while I know I can go into terror and anxiety when I move myself away from all of this, I also know that that is healing and love and my most genuine self when I move myself away from all of this.
When I let go of my head – or at least these false beliefs in my head – and live and love from my heart, my soul, and my wholest truest brain.
(At this point I guess I have to say, if you get what I mean by all of this, I kinda wish you didn’t for your sake, and I’m awfully glad to share this journey with you, and please let me know that and how it resonates. And if you don’t, I’m happy for you and maybe you can find something that resonates with you as well…or just keep on keeping on with whatever works best for you…)
Let go of my head. I heard this from some “spiritual guru” I was listening to, and it made sense. When I let go of all that figuring and trying and explaining and recalibrating and ALL of the craziness I try to make things be “okay” – and I just remember that I am, inherently, in this moment and always, okay…
I breathe that sigh of relief and release. I soothe and calm and ease. I see the joy and love and beauty of the moment, of my heart, of the picture of a yellow bird that a dearest friend texted me this morning (which was especially special because I’m in a place where I rarely, if ever, see a yellow bird. I’m not sure why they don’t come to this part of Jersey…)
My head is part of me – and I now accept and love ALL parts of me – and my head often means well. But my head often gets in my way.
So, I choose to “take what I like and leave the rest,” as I learned decades ago in Al-Anon. To even love my “stinkin thinkin” and then to move on.
When I let go of my head, I am well and whole again and always.
How about you?
I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share this post with others if it resonates with you!
Photo by Artsy Solomon on Nappy
