I have a variety of daily practices that remind me to notice all that’s good – all that’s joy-inducing, laughter-evoking, and pleasure-provoking. As I’ve written here many times, our brains have evolved to be Velcro for the bad and Teflon for the good, and, on a more than daily basis, I am doing what I can to shift this evolution.
I have my “good year box” in notes on my phone, where every morning I capture my joys and wins from the day before. Then, after I’ve texted good morning to the sixteen people currently on my “good morning list”, I open @TheShineApp and enter my list of all I appreciate there as well. I do my best to slow down, notice, and call out big and small joys during the day. And I end most days with my delight list, where I capture what was good that day (and yes, it’s most likely the same list as I’ll make the next morning, but for me it works to list these things multiple times).
It may seem like a lot, but it works for me.
Recently, I’ve noticed a very interesting phenomenon. It mostly happens on @TheShineApp, but I’ve also noticed it starting to spill over. When that app suggests I list what I’m grateful for, partially through my list, I find myself typing:
“me, me, me, me, me”
I am grateful for me.
At first, I felt a wee bit weird about this. Is that being too full of myself? Is that exponentially selfish? In my not-so-humble opinion, we are in a society that calls out such self-focus as a bad, narcissistic, selfish thing. And, for those of you who haven’t heard my story, I was raised in a cult, and focusing on myself in this way – appreciating myself in this way – would definitely be beyond selfish. It would be downright sinful. Full of Satan and evil spirits. The cause of all iniquity and God’s suffering.
That’s not the god or the universe I believe in any more.
I now know that these beliefs were carved into my brain in order to control me and to keep me in the cult. To keep me from thinking for myself. From treasuring myself.
I now know that these beliefs are challenging to move past, to say the least, and I know that it’s possible. That I’m on that path.
I now know that there is such a thing as healthy narcissism, and that involves loving and treasuring and caring for ourselves. First. Most. Forever. And Always.
Not instead of others. Not forgetting others. Not ignoring others. I could never do that. But allowing myself to cherish, adore, and dote on myself.
To be thankful for myself. For all I do. For all I don’t do. For all I’m learning. For all I’m giving. For who I am. Every. Single. Day.
Have you put yourself on the top of your gratitude list yet? I promise you, with all my heart, that is where you belong.
Let me know how it goes!!!
I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share this post with others if it resonates with you!