Breathe through the tricky parts. That’s what my yoga instructor gave us the other day. Breathe through the tricky parts.

Right now, I have a lot of tricky parts. I also downplay them. Just like I downplay the past, at times. I believe it is a common survivor survival tactic. At least it is common in my Second Gen/born and or raised in a cult community.

I’m doing my best to remember to breathe. And to have compassion for myself when I don’t.

Breathe deep and wide. Allow the feelings to ebb and flow and hopefully move on – eventually and in time. Notice the sunshine and the gorgeous red headed woodpecker that graced my birdfeeder today. Take my walk and look, look, look at the sky and the trees (and for more red headed woodpeckers). Breathe deep and wide.

This weekend I (finally) got hit with waves of grief for Danny’s (my dad) death. I was knocked down by fear and terror – old trauma and new cancer. I am getting so much stronger physically – I can walk a flight of stairs without pulling myself up by the banister! – and I don’t feel well. Both are true.

Tricky parts.

I put my hand on my heart. I lift the corners of my mouth into the slightest smile. I put my thoughts on the people I love, the good in all this bad, my luckiness in the midst of all this unluckiness.

I receive countless texts, emails, suggestion, and messages that remind me to be gentle with myself and to practice all I preach. And I am. And I do.

I nap. I rest. I curl up with my heated pillow/’security blanket’ and I let myself be.

I remember to be patient with myself and that I have a lot of tricky parts.

I breathe with them and through them.

I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share this post with others if it resonates with you!

If you have been in ANY high control group or religion, share your story with the hashtag #IGotOut. Share on your own platform OR if you need to be anonymous and/or would like support, there are resources at the @igotout_org website.

When you see a survivor share their story, let them know they have been heard. This is such a meaningful part of the movement. We all need to know we’re not alone.

If you know someone who has been harmed by a high demand group, share #igotout posts or stories you think would help them.

Together we can bring awareness to how many of us have been harmed by high control organizations and end the shame or stigma we might feel about our experiences.

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