I’m getting a wee bit tired of writing this, but now is hard. Now is a lot. I have a bit more still to come, and now is already a lot.
I might be tired of writing it, but I have to remember it. I have to remember that now is – and has been…and will be – a lot. And I have to take care of myself even more through it. (And when I forget, thank you SO many of you for reminding me!)
What will feel good right now? That is the question that I must be asking. That is the question I am asking. Over and over and over at times.
What will soothe me? What will bring a smile or ease? Is it a hug? My hand on my heart? A text? My heatable pillow/”security blanket” warm and lying on my chest? A nap? A good book? Binge watching television? A conversation with someone I love?
What will feel good right now?
My job is to remember that I’m facing a lot and to soothe and love myself. To up the self-care as if my very life depended on it…because it does.
I was just interviewed (with my big brother) for a podcast, and we talked about the ways our brains were carved to keep us under control. How we learned to never care for ourselves, never put ourselves first, never do what felt good. How we learned that all those things were, in fact, selfish and sinful.
I have now learned that that is not true, and that caring for myself is actually the most important thing (second only sometimes to caring for others who are actually under our care).
It’s especially important now.
What will feel good right now? I encourage you to ask that of yourself and then to go out and get and/or do it!
And please let me know how it goes. That soothes me as well. #weareallinthistogether
I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share this post with others if it resonates with you!
If you have been in ANY high control group or religion, share your story with the hashtag #IGotOut. Share on your own platform OR if you need to be anonymous and/or would like support, there are resources at the @igotout_org website.
When you see a survivor share their story, let them know they have been heard. This is such a meaningful part of the movement. We all need to know we’re not alone.
If you know someone who has been harmed by a high demand group, share #igotout posts or stories you think would help them.
Together we can bring awareness to how many of us have been harmed by high control organizations and end the shame or stigma we might feel about our experiences.
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Find out more at igotout.org