I am walking that balance between feeling the feels – especially on the days and moments that are (still) tough – and “distracting” or shifting myself with noticing, taking in, and savoring the joy.

Some days (moments) are easier than others.

And I heard from @tarabrach, “how much life do I miss?”

How much life do I miss when I get stuck in my residual fear, even if my residual fear makes sense? How much life do I miss when I can’t move past anxiety or anger or, again, fear? Even when any and all of the above make sense.

How much life do I miss?

For today, for right now, I want to miss less of life. I will ALWAYS come to myself first with compassion (and most likely my hand on my heart). I will acknowledge that the fear and anxiety and anger are understandable and even justified, perhaps.

And I will aim to distract myself and shift myself more.

There was the red headed woodpecker on my birdfeeder this morning. (No yellow birds yet!) There was the “just enough warmth” to sit outside for a bit, to bask in the birdsong and the windchimes and the sunshine. There is the fact that I am getting stronger, even if it’s a slow journey, and I do feel at least almost a bit like me at times, which is amazing.

There is being even more present with family, friends clients, and strangers. There is being even more present with myself.

There is choosing, minute by minute when necessary, to notice, shift, savor, bask, enjoy, laugh, and love.

To rest. To play. To be with and for myself.

To, as always, love with all my heart.

And to, bit by bit, miss less life.

I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share this post with others if it resonates with you!

Photo by pixabay on nappy


If you have been in ANY high control group or religion, share your story with the hashtag #IGotOut. Share on your own platform OR if you need to be anonymous and/or would like support, there are resources at the @igotout_org website.

When you see a survivor share their story, let them know they have been heard. This is such a meaningful part of the movement. We all need to know we’re not alone.

If you know someone who has been harmed by a high demand group, share #igotout posts or stories you think would help them.

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