This is what I texted to a dearest friend (one of the many I text with every morning). This is what I wish for them, for me, for you.

May the sun shine on you today with much love and beauty and joy and lightness.

I am showing up for me and feeling the feelings – the darkness, the pondering, and the light. I am remembering that “I will take more from cancer than cancer takes from me” and wondering what exactly that means to me. What that means right now and what that means going forward.

What will I learn from and with this? How will I grow from and with this? How will I live and thrive with this? How will I be?

I don’t need to know this now, and I want to hold this lightly as a way to move with and through this.

All of this.

I am remembering that I pretty much always have the choice of how to take in every moment. I might not have the choice in the moment, but with enough breaths and my hand on my heart, I can ride the waves of whatever feelings are arising, I can challenge my thoughts when they take me to “not-necessarily-true dark places” (or even necessarily-true dark places that aren’t helpful for me to dwell in), I can find a way to look for and see the love and beauty and joy and lightness that the sun is shining on me today.

If I can’t in that moment, that’s okay too. I don’t have to see this 100% of the time. I don’t have to do this perfectly. I don’t have to be positive when I feel beaten. I can let myself feel beaten and extend as much love and compassion toward myself as possible. As much as I would to you.

When I breathe, even when I feel beaten (or overwhelmed, or scared, or guilty, or any of the slew of less-than-hopeful feelings that can arise in me), I can more likely see and feel the sun shining on me. When I allow space for it all, there is space for the sun to shine and for me to bask in its warmth and love.

For me to continue to love and care for myself first, most, and always. For me to continue to love with all my heart. For me to continue to be fully me.

May the sun shine on you today with much love and beauty and joy and lightness.

I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share this post with others if it resonates with you!

Photo by Todd Kent on unsplash

If you have been in ANY high control group or religion, share your story with the hashtag #IGotOut. Share on your own platform OR if you need to be anonymous and/or would like support, there are resources at the @igotout_org website.

When you see a survivor share their story, let them know they have been heard. This is such a meaningful part of the movement. We all need to know we’re not alone.

If you know someone who has been harmed by a high demand group, share #igotout posts or stories you think would help them.

Together we can bring awareness to how many of us have been harmed by high control organizations and end the shame or stigma we might feel about our experiences.

Tell your story
Impact lives
Change the world

Find out more at

Start reading 'to the moon and back' today!

Subscribe to my weekly newsletter and receive a FREE sample from my new book, 'to the moon and back'!

You have Successfully Subscribed!