I have days that are hard. When I don’t feel well in my body, mind, or spirit. I really, really want to feel well, but I don’t.

I’m doing my best to let that be and to let that be okay. Acceptance is, as always, the answer to all my problems, and even though I don’t want to accept this, it is what is.

I love the days when I feel strong and energetic and joyful and more like me. When I can begin to really see my healing, even though I’m still slow and easily weary. It’s pretty much out of my control when those days happen and when I’m hit with the darker days.

What is in my control? As always, my attitude.

Again, I can fight and flail against this, or I can accept it. I can push myself to do and accomplish even though/when I don’t feel well, or I can be gentle with myself. I can stay in hurt and desperation to feel better, or I can put my hand on my heart and reach for something that soothes me, even just a little bit, right now.

I can find something that helps me feel a wee bit good, and I can let that be enough.

I just remembered to breathe. I made a cup of tea. I’m remembering and listing all the love in my life, all the people who matter to me, all the things that are going well.

I’m letting that be enough and I’m letting me be enough exactly as I am right now. I don’t feel very inspiring or uplifting or like a powerful example of love and light, but I’m letting that be as well.

I’m letting it all be as okay as I can. I’m feeling as good as I can. I’m letting that be enough, as much as I can.

Hopefully next week I’ll have something more uplifting to share. In the meantime, love yourself first, most, and always.

I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share this post with others if it resonates with you!

If you have been in ANY high control group or religion, share your story with the hashtag #IGotOut. Share on your own platform OR if you need to be anonymous and/or would like support, there are resources at the @igotout_org website.

When you see a survivor share their story, let them know they have been heard. This is such a meaningful part of the movement. We all need to know we’re not alone.

If you know someone who has been harmed by a high demand group, share #igotout posts or stories you think would help them.

Together we can bring awareness to how many of us have been harmed by high control organizations and end the shame or stigma we might feel about our experiences.

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Find out more at igotout.org

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