I was on the phone with a client the other day, reminding them that being human and messy is normal and good. It’s still something I’m learning, day by day, and it’s also something I can teach and share.

I feel particularly messy right now, and I’m sitting with it and letting it be.

I’m letting fear and anger and sadness and anxiety and…and…and…bubble up and envelop me. I am sitting with them and inviting them to tea – as the Buddha invited the demon god Mara to sit and have tea.

I am letting it be okay that I am sad. It makes sense. I am letting it be okay that I’m in overwhelm. That makes sense too. I am letting the emotions wash through me – not stopping them, not pushing them away, not even getting stuck in them. I am welcoming them, observing them with compassion, and holding them to my heart.

I am putting my hand on my heart and breathing. I am recognizing all the young “parts” of me that are still angry and sad and confused and afraid. They weren’t allowed to feel and express those “bad” feelings then, so I let myself feel and express them now. I let the feelings come and go…and I remind myself that I’m an adult now. That all the things that were too big and scary and overwhelming when I was young don’t have to be now. Back then, I didn’t really have anyone to protect and take care of me. Now I have me. Adult me.

I also remind myself that “feelings aren’t facts.” (Thank you Al-Anon.) That they’ll pass. That there is also so much beauty and joy and okay-ness surrounding and in me.

That right here, right now, I am okay.

I feel messy and I am okay. Both are true.

I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share this post with others if it resonates with you!

Photo by NappyStock on nappy


If you have been in ANY high control group or religion, share your story with the hashtag #IGotOut. Share on your own platform OR if you need to be anonymous and/or would like support, there are resources at the @igotout_org website.

When you see a survivor share their story, let them know they have been heard. This is such a meaningful part of the movement. We all need to know we’re not alone.

If you know someone who has been harmed by a high demand group, share #igotout posts or stories you think would help them.

Together we can bring awareness to how many of us have been harmed by high control organizations and end the shame or stigma we might feel about our experiences.

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Find out more at igotout.org

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