I’m pretty sure I’m repeating myself, but I don’t really care. First, I think this is worth repeating, and second, I, for one at least, need to hear it over and over (and over) again.
Where I put my attention is up to me.
What I focus on is my choice.
What I keep in my awareness is under my volitional control.
So, what do I want to do about that???
There are things that are tough right now. Perhaps there always will be. There are also things that are amazingly, spectacularly magnificent. There will always be those as well.
That dang negativity bias keeps me looking at, worried about, and determined to shift the tough things. That dang negativity bias lets the amazingly, spectacularly magnificent things (and even the just plain okay enough things) slip away so easily and quickly.
But that is under my control, if not at first, then with some dedicated attention, intention, and effort.
I am in no way suggesting that I need to or should ignore the tough situations or harder feelings. I acknowledge them. I allow them. I sit with them and let them and me be.
Then I have a choice as to whether or not I stay there or whether I fill my heart, soul, and mind with joy. And love. And more joy. And more love.
Each morning (as some of you know), I text currently about nineteen people to say good morning to them. Some respond. Some don’t. All are people who matter to me and who care about me. Each morning, as I work through those nineteen texts, I have the opportunity to do it on autopilot or to notice and savor all the love in my life and my heart.
I can stay with the suffering of this moment and the things that are not as I want them to be, or I can choose to see what’s working and what’s good.
I can put my attention on those nineteen people and all the people who matter to me and all the love I have to give.
I can focus on the five days I had in Italy with my husband (lucky and better to turn sixty there than here).
I can keep in my awareness my kiddies, my friends, my family, sunshine, yellow birds (who seem to be gone for the season), the beauty of this day, the support I have to continue to heal, the laughter and love and strength and resilience that is me.
Where I put my attention is up to me.
It’s up to me.
I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share this post with others if it resonates with you!
If you have been in ANY high control group or religion, share your story with the hashtag #IGotOut. Share on your own platform OR if you need to be anonymous and/or would like support, there are resources at the @igotout_org website.
When you see a survivor share their story, let them know they have been heard. This is such a meaningful part of the movement. We all need to know we’re not alone.
If you know someone who has been harmed by a high demand group, share #igotout posts or stories you think would help them.
Together we can bring awareness to how many of us have been harmed by high control organizations and end the shame or stigma we might feel about our experiences.
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