This is a text I got last week from one of my dearests.

I love that those around me send me texts like this. It re-reminds me, whilst it also lets me know that others are taking up what I’m putting down. Which matters to me…

This dearest also had a pretty strong religious upbringing, I believe with all the hoopla and guilt-shame-sacrificing oneself for others baggage that can entail.

Perhaps they weren’t literally taught to “live for the sake of others” as we Moonies were, but guilt-shame-sacrificing oneself for the sake of others baggage nonetheless.

I love that I have reminded them to love and take care of themselves first, as they’ve moved through some very tough dealt hands.

I love that they are now reminding me…and making the “recommendation” even stronger than I ever did.

“YOU need to come first first first.”

I know that we all need to come first for ourselves overall. There may be moments when our needs need to go on the backburner and times we show up beyond our usual limits and moments where we consider others with and even before ourselves, but overall, first.

Or first first first as my dearest texted.

A few questions that help me do this:
What do I want today?
What do I need?
What do I need and want right now?
What will thrill me or soothe me or care for me?
How can I care for me?

What do all the “little child parts” of me want and need? (check out Internal Family Systems)
What will ease the pain of my past and/or my present?
What does my future self want from me right now?

Love and comfort and ease and joy to all as you let yourselves come first first first.

As I let myself come first first first.

I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share this post with others if it resonates with you!

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