I’ve long said that my god – god with an intentional small g – is love. My god is the energy that we all are and that we are all connected by (check out quantum physics). My god is the healing force of warmth and adoration and tenderness…for ourselves and others. (And, FWIW, my god has they/them pronouns, if there are pronouns at all.)
Then I heard Alok Vaid-Menon say this on the A Bit Fruity podcast (also something to DEFINITELY check out).
“god is in the place we hate ourselves most.”
How powerful. How amazing. How healing. How true.
There are so many reasons and ways that so many of us were taught to hate ourselves. Or worse. Many of us had to reject or despise parts or even all of us in order to feel safe. To be safe.
What a mind-blowing amazing concept that god is in those places.
Just today in therapy, I heard myself say, “They may be mad at me for that, and that’s okay.” That is me acknowledging god (aka love), seeing god (aka love), accepting god (aka love) in the place that used to hate myself if you were mad at me. That desperately needed you not to be mad at me. That hated me overall.
Acknowledging, seeing, and accepting that place – that drive, that need to be accepted and loved – is me being okay with me. Which, by Alok’s definition, at least in my mind, is god. Or at least god-like.
Bottom line, I’m pretty damn sure we don’t need to hate ourselves as much as we may have. We don’t need to drive ourselves as much as we do. We don’t need to prove ourselves as much as we’ve been conditioned to think is necessary.
We can just be. And acknowledge, see, accept and even love those places we (used to) hate.
Because that’s what god (aka love) is and would do.
I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share this post with others if it resonates with you!
Photo by Alyssa Sieb on nappy
