I’m in a course on transformational coaching. It is transformational.
We were asked about our anger, fear, sadness, and joy. Which of these emotions were we allowed or not allowed to have when we were young, and what was our relationship to them now?
I realized I wasn’t allowed any of them. Not. A. One.
Well, I was required to feel joy, but it wasn’t a true joy. It wasn’t my joy. But I was a Moonie, and Moonies always smiled and were always happy to sacrifice for god and our true parents.
I have found those emotions. Well, actually, I’ve found my rage, terror, grief and despair, and my true joy. That is healing.
I was with someone else recently, perhaps a coaching client, who told me they weren’t going to shapeshift anymore.
Many of us had to shapeshift to survive. Many of us may be shapeshifting now.
Because we have to to feel or be safe. Because it’s all we know or think we know. Because it’s what we’re used to. Because we weren’t allowed to have our emotions when we were young.
Shapeshifting costs us. Dearly.
Sure, it’s wonderful to be flexible and to adjust to situations and circumstances when you need or want to.
But shapeshifting is different. It’s changing who we are.
And that’s not necessary anymore.
(I know this isn’t much of a blog post, but it’s really what I wanted to share…)
I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share this post with others if it resonates with you!
Photo by Mathilde Langevin on unsplash
