It was a few years ago when I realized I disassociated. Just like all the anger and anguish buried deep within me that I couldn’t even sense was there because I’d been so groomed and carved by my cult to have no boundaries, needs or wants, I just didn’t know.
Then, I suppose as I found that anger and anguish, I realized there were times that I was less in my body than other times. Again, who knew?
I am learning to breathe deeply to ground myself where I am. To notice my feet on the ground, my seat in my seat, my surroundings. I am finding myself in my own body.
This was, of course, offered by my yoga instructor, as she took us through our poses.
I am also realizing how unsafe I was – I have been – for so much of my life. Whilst at the same time realizing the safety that is now in me and that was always in me, even if it wasn’t enough to fully protect me when I was a child.
I am deepening into my body and wholing and owning myself. Becoming even more comfortable in my own skin and even more comfortable just being and just being me.
I am finding – and delighting in myself – more and more and over and over again.
As this year comes to an end, I am enlivened and emboldened to live even more deeply, even more fully, even more lovingly, even more and more infused with self love and self compassion, even more and more determined to be and to be me.
I am finding myself.
In my days.
In my heart.
In my mind.
In my soul.
In my body.
I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share this post with others if it resonates with you!
