Being weak is actually being strong

Being weak is actually being strong

I’ve written before about the incredible push I have to be “strong.” To never need help. To not falter. To be able to get through anything and do anything no matter what. I keep learning that that is a false sense of strong. I’m moving through a (hopefully) mild...
I like to break the rules

I like to break the rules

I had coffee with a dear friend this morning. I remember when I told her, years ago when I was first getting to know her, that I was a rule follower. “No one,” she replied, “no one, from just meeting you, from the outside, would ever know that.” I probably don’t look...
Let that shit go

Let that shit go

When I crawled into Al-Anon decades ago, they offered me a mantra, “Let go and let god.” It saved my mind, soul, and life. I learned to turn over just about everything…well to start to turn over just about everything. I was (and can still be) damn good at letting go...
I’m no longer calling him the Messiah

I’m no longer calling him the Messiah

There’s a line I use when I describe a particularly scarring moment in my adolescence – “The Messiah said I was bad.” In many ways this accurately captures what happened. A dear friend of mine was caught in a desperate situation, and in order to protect herself – to...
If you’re going to relax, go all in

If you’re going to relax, go all in

Some people might say I’m an all or nothing person. Some people might be right. Generally, when I commit myself to something, I go all in. I do very little halfway. Perhaps it’s my rampant perfectionism (remember, my brother once told me, “You even try to do...