Lean into the suck. Embrace the s—t.

I live my life (mostly) trying to find my light and ease. To look for what’s working and what’s good. To bounce off of my struggles and soothe my heart.

I live that way. I write about it. I teach it.

Then there are times the only thing – or best thing – that has eased and soothed my heart and soul has been to lean into the suck. To acknowledge it and admit it.

Years ago I was in a very difficult place, struggling with a physical ailment that was knocking me to my knees. Over and over again. But I fought to find the good in it. I fought to stay positive at all times, to see what was right in my stinking situation.

Until a friend asked me how I was doing (as she drove me to our joint destination, as I could no longer drive due to my physical condition). I gave her all my platitudes. I pointed out all I was learning and how I was growing. I shared the rosy side of what was going on.

“But doesn’t it suck?” she asked me. “Why don’t you just admit it sucks?”

“Oh Lin,” I said. […]

Here’s the deal. It’s a daily practice.

There’s a reason they (whoever “they” are) call yoga a practice. It’s not (supposed to be) a destination. It’s not (supposed to be) an end point you’re aiming for. It’s not (supposed to be) something to check off your to-do list or to “win” at.

It’s a practice. Day by day. Being where you are in the moment and playing with the poses one more time to see what they bring you now. And now. And now.

Most days my yoga practice is different from other days. Sometimes poses are un-understandably easy. Sometimes they’re un-understandably difficult, or near impossible.

It’s a practice.

The same, I’m learning more and more, is true of my practices of meditation, finding joy, gratitude, allowing peace and ease, soothing my heart and soul…all of them.

They are all practices.

They are practices that may come easier some days than others or may seem like they have more and better “results” some days than others. They are practices that feel awkward at first – like the first time you stand in mountain pose…and stand…and stand – but that get more comfortable as time goes on. Or at least more doable.

I’ve told many of my clients […]

Life is so much easier if you don’t have to prove anything

Yes, it’s another lesson from my yoga practice and instructor. Yes, I think she was talking about yoga. And yes, I think it’s true about life.

Life is so much easier if I don’t have to prove anything.

As someone who can feel such pressure to prove myself – to prove I’m worthy, to prove I’m lovable, to prove I’m doing as much as I possibly can (and most likely to prove I’m doing more than anyone else, just to be certain) – when I release my constant push to do more, better, and best, life is easier. I am easier.

I am easier when I’m in the moment and just enjoying the moment. I am easier when I do “good enough” and let that be enough. I pretty much still have a broken gauge on what is enough, because – as I suggest to my clients – accurate versions of enough and not enough are easily skewed by perfectionism. My “barely enough” is probably more than enough, and my “enough” is probably way more than enough. I just don’t know how to fully know that yet. I’m working on it.

I’m working hard (probably very hard ☺) to build […]